Two More To Go

Well, my first month back on Clomid was a failure. I most definitely did ovulate, but pregnancy tests were stark white. My Progesterone level was 17.4. That's not the best level I've ever had, but it was sufficient for my doctor. I did have a very clear temp shift, much more clear than some I've had lately. The plan right now is to finish this second round of Clomid and then do one more. If I still don't get pregnant, then I go back to the doctor to decide what to do next. My guess would be he'll suggest and injectable IUI course or just a Clomid IUI. I will try one IUI and possibly two. I haven't decided yet. What I really want to do is save up the money to go to CNY Fertility in New York and have an IVF cycle done. That will be the last thing I will try. If I still don't get pregnant after doing IVF I will wait until I'm 35 and then I will have a hysterectomy done. Hopefully my predisposition to pre-cancer cells won't force me to have it done earlier. I have spent so much of the last eight years obsessing over tracking everything and trying to get pregnant. I really just want to relax and enjoy life without thinking about it. I just can't until I know I have tried everything.

Okay, let's talk a little about the Ovulation Double Check tests. I used the tests with my last cycle and I know that I ovulated. The tests had two dark lines when I first started them. After a couple of days they did get very faint, but they didn't completely disappear. After speaking with Amy from MFB Fertility we think we may have figured out why. In about 5-7% of women, the progesterone is metabolized so fast that it may not register a true positive on the test. I know that I metabolize most things more quickly than other people and I feel this is probably what happened. The important thing is that the tests did get very faint, so I can make sure to look for that change and know that if I had a clear temp shift I more than likely did ovulate. Of course every cycle is different and I may get a true positive next time. Amy herself struggled with infertility and was blessed with two children. She says these tests are her way of giving back and helping those of us still struggling. She has been very helpful with any questions and feedback I have for her. I also wanted to add that the price they are on Amazon will not be going up. That was a misunderstanding on my part. After all is said and done, I highly recommend these tests for anyone that is trying to conceive and wants to make sure that they are ovulating. A lot of money can be saved on pregnancy tests if we know if we even ovulated or not. The customer service is amazing and the product itself is of very good quality. Give them a try!

On another note, who is ready for warmer weather? This cold weather is absolutely killing me. It's so pretty outside, but it's so cold. One day will be warm enough for tank tops and then it snows that night. I'm ready for fires and fishing and boating and everything summer. I know my daughter is getting tired of being cooped up inside. She's started being a little bit of a brat. She needs to be able to go outside and run off some energy. We have gotten out a few times, but hopefully warmer weather is coming soon.

Suggestions! - If there are any topics that you would like to see me cover or a product you would like to see a review on...PLEASE just let me know. This isn't a blog just about me and my journey, it's also to provide information to those of you looking for answers.

Blessed

I'm sitting here at my table, looking out our sliding door, and do you know what I see? A drilling rig that recently went up across the road from us. Specifically, it's a drilling rig from the company my husband got laid off from back in January. Every single time I look outside or walk by my door it's there. Every time I go down the road, I have to drive right by it. It literally feels like a slap in the face every time my eyes land on it. I want to be mad about it and I was pretty irritated at first, but I am forcing myself to look on the bright side.

After my husband was laid off the company cut per diem and that was a really good chunk of the pay. I'm not sure we would be able to afford for him to work there with no per diem. Had he not been laid off, I may not have felt the push I needed to get my photography business off the ground. Things are by no means okay yet and we are still struggling, but we may be in a better position now than we would have been. I am trying to count my blessings and not stress so much about the things I can't control.

Even though we are far from home, we are still surrounded by family. We are lucky enough to have my sister in law and her husband on one side of us, my step-dad on the other side of us and the guys all work together. I know it may not last long, but for now it's enough. I am learning to take things one day at a time and one step at a time. I am a very impatient person and I am a planner. I feel the need to plan for everything and make lists all the time. When I don't have control of something it makes my anxiety go crazy. I have my days where I just want to sit down and have a good cry, but I will not lose hope.

If you are in a rough patch in your life, please take a step back. Take a deep breath and count your blessings. Trust me, I know you don't want to hear that sometimes. It used to make me mad when people would say it, but sometimes it's what you need to do. You will still have days that you want to scream and cry and throw things and that's okay. Do it. Release that tension. Just remember that you have good things in your life too. Don't let the stress, anger and anxiety keep you down. It will only make things worse. Keep your head up. You've got this.