So I went back for my HCG test last Wednesday and my levels had gone up to 282. They more than doubled from what they were on Monday at 121. Day before yesterday I had an early ultrasound done and it showed a 7.5mm gestational sac, but no fetal pole or heartbeat yet. It is still really early since I am only 5 weeks and that is completely normal. I go back for another ultrasound on next Wednesday and should be able to see something then. The doctor still has me on the Progesterone supplement and I am still taking my whole food prenatal vitamins and DHA. I've been trying to eat a lot of fresh salads, fruits and veggies with chicken and grilled meats. I cut out caffeine almost completely and have been trying to drink tons of water. I am hoping that all of this will help me to carry the baby to term this time.
I have still been cramping, but fortunately it has mostly been due to constipation. The Progesterone has that lovely side effect and they told me to start drinking Metamucil to help with that. I must say, that stuff is not the greatest tasting. I had tried yogurt, water, green veggies and fiber filled cereals and none of that worked. So, Metamucil it is. For the most part, I have been doing nothing but laying in the bed and watching Netflix. I do have to go to the barn and check on my horse, but other than that I try not to really be up and moving about too much. I got the last of the medication we had ordered for the aggressive IUI cycle we were going to do before we found out I am pregnant. Let's just say, I really hope I carry this baby and never have to do that cycle. Number one, because I don't want to go through another miscarriage. Number two, that's a really big needle!
As far as symptoms go, I haven't really had any. My breasts have been extremely sensitive and sore, but that's about it. No morning sickness or anything like that. I have gotten nauseous maybe two or three times, but it wasn't bad. I have had maybe two headaches and a few dizzy spells. Most days though, I don't have any symptoms. I almost wish I would have more symptoms, just so that I know that I am still pregnant and everything is okay. I know that sounds strange, but when there aren't any symptoms you worry that something is wrong.
My best friend came in from Virginia to take me to my ultrasound appointment and will probably come in and take me to the one next week too. My hubby won't get off work until Wednesday morning. So he may be able to meet us out there, but wouldn't be able to come get me and take me himself. I think she was pretty excited to get to see the ultrasound before anyone else though.
My hubby has another week before he gets to come back home from Ohio. This hitch has been particularly hard for us. He has had a hard time at work with things going wrong and worried about me and the baby. I have had a hard time because I've been worried about him and the baby. His truck got damaged this morning when the flow line blew and put dents all over it, chipped paint, busted his windshield and covered it in oil base mud. We are still waiting to find out how they are going to handle getting it fixed. He said that if someone had been out there when it happened that it may have killed or seriously injured them. The company men are trying to get them to break procedure and do something that could get someone hurt. Luckily, the driller is refusing to do it. I am still worried to death about my hubby tonight though.
Right now I am just in a waiting game. I have to wait for each new ultrasound to know that everything is fine and the next week just can't come fast enough. The doctor I am seeing now, which is my reproductive endocrinologist, is only going to see me for a few more weeks to make sure everything is progressing okay. Then he is going to release me to go back to my regular ob. The thing is, I don't trust my regular ob to take good care of me and keep a good eye on me since my previous miscarriages make me high risk. They didn't do a good job with the first two miscarriages, so I will be looking for a good ob out in the same place my RE is. When he decides to release me, I will ask him who he recommends. I am so nervous and anxious for my next ultrasound. Come on next Wednesday!!!
Showing posts with label strong. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strong. Show all posts
April 19, 2013
March 17, 2013
Anxiously Waiting
Well, it turns out I didn't have to decide whether or not to do the ivf trial. My lovely cycle decided for me. The hubby would have to be there for the first appointment and that appointment has to be between cycle day one and five. My hubby is at work during those cycle days for the foreseeable future, so he isn't going to be able to go. Anyone that knows anything about the rigs will know that taking time off to go isn't possible and the rigs for his company are so short handed right now that switching days with someone for one hitch isn't possible either. So now I am anxiously waiting for my doctor appointment on the 27th. It honestly can't get here fast enough, because I am really curious to find out what kind of plan the doctor is going to lay out for us and I am in a hurry to get started. I want to be pregnant this year. That is my goal, even if it involves doing ivf. I feel like we are so close to finally reaching our dream of a baby and I'm getting super impatient.
Right now I am taking a whole food prenatal vitamin, DHA, Pregnitude and the Fertibella. For the last three months my cycles have been regular and not too long. I don't know if it is the Pregnitude, the Fertibella, both or just my body finally regulating after five years. Just in case, I will continue to use them until my appointment and then the doctor can tell me whether I should continue. As far as the Ovacue Monitor goes, I think that it can definitely let you know if there is a luteal phase defect or if you ovulate. The only problem is that you have to learn how to interpret the results on your own and can't necessarily rely on what it tells you if your cycles are irregular. Luckily, they have specialists in the forums that can look at your chart and help you understand what is going on. I do really like the Fertile-Focus Scope. Some people say that they have a hard time learning to interpret the difference between full ferning and partial ferning, but mine has been very straight forward and easy to decipher between the two. I for sure recommend this little scope and it's not going to break the bank. One suggestion though, you can sometimes see the results better by holding it up to regular light and not using the light that comes with it. I am also using progesterone cream once I ovulate. I can tell you that this has had a huge impact on my cycles and regulating them. I can tell the difference in a cycle that I use it and one that I don't right away.
It's been almost a week since my hubby went back to Ohio and lucky for me, this week has gone by pretty fast. I can only hope that this last week goes by just as fast. I normally sit here at the house, bored out of my mind when he is gone. Tonight I got to go out and eat with a friend and even ran into some of the family. I need more nights like this to make the time go by faster. My infertility problems take up so much of my life that it is nice to be able to distance myself from that for a little while and give my mind a break. Another reason I want this time to fly by is that we are hoping we can close on the house when the hubby comes home this time. It's so exciting to finally be able to have a place that we own and won't have to worry about having to move again.
Now I have a shout out to my fellow endometriosis sisters. March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. I hope that you are all out there spreading awareness about this disease and enlightening people as to what it is and how it affects us. I think there are so many more people that have it and could benefit from treatment, but they don't know anything about it. I also don't think that many people realize how devastating this disease can be to the people that have it and how strong we are to deal with it. Spread the word everyone!!
Right now I am taking a whole food prenatal vitamin, DHA, Pregnitude and the Fertibella. For the last three months my cycles have been regular and not too long. I don't know if it is the Pregnitude, the Fertibella, both or just my body finally regulating after five years. Just in case, I will continue to use them until my appointment and then the doctor can tell me whether I should continue. As far as the Ovacue Monitor goes, I think that it can definitely let you know if there is a luteal phase defect or if you ovulate. The only problem is that you have to learn how to interpret the results on your own and can't necessarily rely on what it tells you if your cycles are irregular. Luckily, they have specialists in the forums that can look at your chart and help you understand what is going on. I do really like the Fertile-Focus Scope. Some people say that they have a hard time learning to interpret the difference between full ferning and partial ferning, but mine has been very straight forward and easy to decipher between the two. I for sure recommend this little scope and it's not going to break the bank. One suggestion though, you can sometimes see the results better by holding it up to regular light and not using the light that comes with it. I am also using progesterone cream once I ovulate. I can tell you that this has had a huge impact on my cycles and regulating them. I can tell the difference in a cycle that I use it and one that I don't right away.
It's been almost a week since my hubby went back to Ohio and lucky for me, this week has gone by pretty fast. I can only hope that this last week goes by just as fast. I normally sit here at the house, bored out of my mind when he is gone. Tonight I got to go out and eat with a friend and even ran into some of the family. I need more nights like this to make the time go by faster. My infertility problems take up so much of my life that it is nice to be able to distance myself from that for a little while and give my mind a break. Another reason I want this time to fly by is that we are hoping we can close on the house when the hubby comes home this time. It's so exciting to finally be able to have a place that we own and won't have to worry about having to move again.
Now I have a shout out to my fellow endometriosis sisters. March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. I hope that you are all out there spreading awareness about this disease and enlightening people as to what it is and how it affects us. I think there are so many more people that have it and could benefit from treatment, but they don't know anything about it. I also don't think that many people realize how devastating this disease can be to the people that have it and how strong we are to deal with it. Spread the word everyone!!
February 14, 2013
Alone On Valentine's Day
Well, it has certainly been a little while since I have been on here. Things have been really crazy and I've been pretty stressed. My hubby is now in Ohio and the two weeks on and two weeks off makes it difficult to to even attempt a baby. I still want to go to Johns Hopkins, but that is going to have to wait until we get a house and have our lives settled again. There is just too much going on right now to plan on going seven hours away to the doctor a few times a month. It looks like our house situation may have finally been solved, thanks to an amazing person that we used to go to church with. We can't start the paperwork at the bank until the hubby gets back home, which won't be until the end of the month. Once we buy the house, have everything moved in, the barn built and my horse safely there..then I will focus on trying to figure out what is wrong with me. However, we are still going through with our adoption plans. As soon as we have the house ready, we will get our home study done and make our final decision on an adoption agency. We really want to get as much done in the adoption process as we can this year and hopefully get our profile out to birthmothers by the end of the year. I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am to be this close to finally getting the process underway. We have only raised a little over $200, but we are trying to sell our camper. If we can get our camper sold, we can use the money to pay off some debt and that will give us enough extra money every month that we could afford to go ahead and get an adoption loan. I feel like once we get this house that everything in my life will start falling into place. I hope and pray with everything in me that nothing goes wrong. Although, with the luck I tend to have, I know that is a lot to ask for. If anyone has a suggestion on an adoption agency, please let me know.
Today happens to be Valentine's Day, which doesn't mean a lot to me at the moment. I am alone for Valentine's Day, just like I will be every holiday for the next few years. My hubby has a good job and makes good money though, so I can't complain too much. I see all of my friends doing stuff for their kids and it makes it a little harder to deal with. I am trying to keep my head up and keep thinking positive. I know things could be a lot worse right now and I'm thankful that they aren't. I know my hubby has a hard time being away from home and I try really hard to be strong for him. I try not to message him too much, get too mushy, let him see or hear me cry, etc. I try to portray the strong wife that can handle him being gone and hold down the fort. I put my brave face on and choke back the tears until I'm off the phone with him and when he leaves I try not let him see. I didn't succeed when he left on Tuesday, a few tears slipped through since he took longer than usual to say goodbye. Don't get me wrong, I am very independent and I can handle myself just fine on my own. Not seeing him for two weeks and barely talking to him is hard because I worry. The work that he does is so extremely dangerous and I live in constant fear that I am going to get that dreaded call that something has happened to him. The work he does is also well known for men cheating because they can live a double life since they are gone more than they are home. I trust my husband, but I don't trust other women. They have what is called rigrats. Those are girls that chase after oilfield men, married or not. They don't give up and they are persistent. I know my husband wouldn't do anything, but these girls have been known to do pretty much ANYTHING to get attention. The danger and the girls are what rig wives live in fear of. I think I take it especially hard because I feel like a failure since I can't give my husband children. One little part of me thinks that maybe I deserve it or he would be better off if he would find someone else. He deserves all he wants in life and he wants a family that I can't give him. I know at times I sabotage myself and push him away thinking that is what is best for him. I finally got over that for a while, but now that he is gone so much I can feel myself going back to that point. I often wonder if he looks at me any differently now than he did when we first got together. Sometimes I feel like he does, like the fire he had for me has maybe dimmed some.
Anyway, I hope all of you get to spend today with your special someone and I hope it is a great day. Don't forget to check out the Facebook page and if you want to donate to our adoption fund, the link is below. Thank you all for letting me know I am not alone and I hope that I help you know that you aren't alone either.
https://www.facebook.com/GotAnyKids
http://www.gofundme.com/CallieTorreyAdoptionFund
Today happens to be Valentine's Day, which doesn't mean a lot to me at the moment. I am alone for Valentine's Day, just like I will be every holiday for the next few years. My hubby has a good job and makes good money though, so I can't complain too much. I see all of my friends doing stuff for their kids and it makes it a little harder to deal with. I am trying to keep my head up and keep thinking positive. I know things could be a lot worse right now and I'm thankful that they aren't. I know my hubby has a hard time being away from home and I try really hard to be strong for him. I try not to message him too much, get too mushy, let him see or hear me cry, etc. I try to portray the strong wife that can handle him being gone and hold down the fort. I put my brave face on and choke back the tears until I'm off the phone with him and when he leaves I try not let him see. I didn't succeed when he left on Tuesday, a few tears slipped through since he took longer than usual to say goodbye. Don't get me wrong, I am very independent and I can handle myself just fine on my own. Not seeing him for two weeks and barely talking to him is hard because I worry. The work that he does is so extremely dangerous and I live in constant fear that I am going to get that dreaded call that something has happened to him. The work he does is also well known for men cheating because they can live a double life since they are gone more than they are home. I trust my husband, but I don't trust other women. They have what is called rigrats. Those are girls that chase after oilfield men, married or not. They don't give up and they are persistent. I know my husband wouldn't do anything, but these girls have been known to do pretty much ANYTHING to get attention. The danger and the girls are what rig wives live in fear of. I think I take it especially hard because I feel like a failure since I can't give my husband children. One little part of me thinks that maybe I deserve it or he would be better off if he would find someone else. He deserves all he wants in life and he wants a family that I can't give him. I know at times I sabotage myself and push him away thinking that is what is best for him. I finally got over that for a while, but now that he is gone so much I can feel myself going back to that point. I often wonder if he looks at me any differently now than he did when we first got together. Sometimes I feel like he does, like the fire he had for me has maybe dimmed some.
Anyway, I hope all of you get to spend today with your special someone and I hope it is a great day. Don't forget to check out the Facebook page and if you want to donate to our adoption fund, the link is below. Thank you all for letting me know I am not alone and I hope that I help you know that you aren't alone either.
https://www.facebook.com/GotAnyKids
http://www.gofundme.com/CallieTorreyAdoptionFund
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