I decided tonight that I am going to make an appointment with the Fertility Center at CAMC. I'm not going with the intention of getting pregnant. I just want to have some more tests done to see if they can finally figure out what is wrong with me, before I end up with other health problems. People that do not have regular menstrual cycles are at greater risk for uterine cancer. I think my diagnosis of PCOS was wrong, especially since the treatment for PCOS didn't work for me at all. There are other diseases and syndromes I could possibly have that could put me at risk for other health problems if they go untreated. If I get pregnant as a result of finding out what is wrong with me and treating it, then that's great. I'm not going into it expecting that outcome though. I think deciding to adopt has given me a feeling of relief. Knowing that I will have a baby at some point through adoption lets me be able to focus on my treatment and not so much on getting pregnant. I have no plans on doing anymore IUI's or IVF, unless they find what is wrong with me and think that I have a better chance of success with it. I am still moving forward with adoption plans. If I get pregnant and make it out of the first trimester, then I will put adoption plans on hold, but not until then. If we have already signed with an agency and paid our money, then I guess we will have two babies. If we haven't signed with an agency yet, then the money raised to that point (if there is any) will be used to buy nursery items and pay medical bills. Honestly though, I just want answers that no doctor has been able to give me so far.
As far as the adoption process goes, we have only raised $120 so far. That is a long way from how much we have to have before we can sign with an agency. I ordered brochures for a candle fundraiser and I should get those in about a week. Hopefully I will be able to raise a little money with that. My wonderful best friend and sister has been helping me come up with some other fundraising ideas that we will be putting together in the next few months. I don't know if any of the fundraising is going to pay off enough to be worth it, but I have to at least try. However, it looks like we will end up needing a loan for the full $25,000 amount. I don't think I will make the deadline for the first set of adoption grants for next year either, so I will have to do that in the later part of the year. I am still debating between a couple of different agencies/facilitators too. Each one has its own pros and cons, which makes it a really hard decision.
Well guys, I just wanted to give you an update on where everything is headed at the moment. If anyone wants information on the candles I will be selling then just let me know. Also, if anyone has any ideas for fundraisers or anything like that then message me. Be sure to visit my Facebook page and there is also a page for donations. If you like gift certificates for restaurants, then you can donate $20 and get a $50 gift certificate. Thanks for all of your support!
http://www.gofundme.com/CallieTorreyAdoptionFund
http://coupaide.com/deal/daniels-adoption-fundraiser/
https://www.facebook.com/GotAnyKids
December 28, 2012
December 18, 2012
First Things First
Hello everyone! It seems like I have been chasing down leads to make money for the adoption for days. I think I have looked at every adoption loan and grant that is out there. I have also been trying to come up with some fundraisers to do. That last part isn't coming along so well. I think I will see if the grocery store will let me do a hot dog/bake sale and I'm going to start gathering things and taking donations for a yard sale. If I can ever make it out to the store, I am going to put together a nice gift basket and take chances on it. There is a candle fundraiser I could try too, if I can get some people to help me out selling them. I am going to make up some flyers with the donation account on it and see if businesses will let me put them up on their billboards with all the other random ads. I may even get creative and make some bracelets or something to sell, but we'll have to see if I'm any good at that sort of thing first. I want to have some shirts made to sell, but I don't know of a place that would do it cheap so that I could make some profit from it. If any of you can come up with some other ideas, pretty please, let me know.
I have applications for all kinds of adoption grants, but there is one little snag. The majority of them require that you already have your home study done before you can apply for them and the the other half require that you have already signed your contract with an agency. First things first, we need to settle on a house ASAP. While the hubby is gone to work these two weeks, I am going to be doing a lot of driving around and looking at the places we narrowed it down to. I would really like to be able to get the paperwork started on one by the end of the month and no later than the middle of January. Hopefully things will go smoothly this time, unlike the two other times we tried to buy a house, and we will be able to close on it by the end of March. I was really hoping we could get a house and get the home study done by the end of April in order to meet the deadline for the first set of grants that go out, but it's not looking good. Patience was never one of my strong points and I find myself getting more and more restless and anxious. For once, since my first miscarriage, I am again excited and hopeful that I will be holding my own little baby in my arms soon. The really wonderful thing is that not only will it make my life so much more, it will be giving a home to a baby that desperately needs it. That's an amazing thing to think about.
The next thing on the list, after the house and the home study, is deciding on which agency to use. This is a decision I have been struggling with a lot. Of course, some are cheaper than others and they all provide different services, but I just can't decide. I have narrowed it down to about four, but I still need to get a little more information before I make my final decision. Once I pick one, I can go ahead and fill out the application. I have to be approved before we ever start talking money or signing contracts. Ultimately, I have to decide if I am going to pay a little more for the full service of an agency or pay a little less for a facilitator. If I choose a facilitator I will pretty much have to do most everything by myself and that is a scary thought since it will be my first time.
Money, money, money..that's what it all boils down to. I feel like I've got to get some of our monthly debt paid off so that we have more to put towards a loan payment after the house and so it will raise the hubby's credit and we will be eligible for more on the adoption loan. It feels like a completely pointless task, but I 'm trying. I just filled out a form tonight to try to get my student loans cancelled since my college lost its accreditation. Hopefully that goes as planned and I won't have to worry about student loan payments anymore. We cut out television completely and we really don't have any other luxury expenses. Everything else we have to pay are things we have no choice about. The first thing on my list is to tackle the credit card debt. It's not much, but we will need those credit cards for the adoption and paying them back off will up hubby's credit score some. I really need to get some fundraising money or donations coming in so that we can pay the first part of the payment to whichever agency we decide to go with. I am relying heavily on my friends and family to help me get the word out to others and to help with the fundraisers. I hope they are up to the task.
Well, I really just wanted to give everyone a brief update as to what has been going on. If anyone wants to help out by donating money, you can get in touch with me or go to the donation page. If you would like to donate items for a yard sale or to take chances on, then get in touch with me directly or a family member. I ask that you please share my fundraiser page, blog and/or Facebook page with the people you know via Facebook, Twitter or any other means you choose. Thank you everyone that has shown their support, you will never know how much it means to us. Love and baby dust!!
http://www.gofundme.com/CallieTorreyAdoptionFund
I have applications for all kinds of adoption grants, but there is one little snag. The majority of them require that you already have your home study done before you can apply for them and the the other half require that you have already signed your contract with an agency. First things first, we need to settle on a house ASAP. While the hubby is gone to work these two weeks, I am going to be doing a lot of driving around and looking at the places we narrowed it down to. I would really like to be able to get the paperwork started on one by the end of the month and no later than the middle of January. Hopefully things will go smoothly this time, unlike the two other times we tried to buy a house, and we will be able to close on it by the end of March. I was really hoping we could get a house and get the home study done by the end of April in order to meet the deadline for the first set of grants that go out, but it's not looking good. Patience was never one of my strong points and I find myself getting more and more restless and anxious. For once, since my first miscarriage, I am again excited and hopeful that I will be holding my own little baby in my arms soon. The really wonderful thing is that not only will it make my life so much more, it will be giving a home to a baby that desperately needs it. That's an amazing thing to think about.
The next thing on the list, after the house and the home study, is deciding on which agency to use. This is a decision I have been struggling with a lot. Of course, some are cheaper than others and they all provide different services, but I just can't decide. I have narrowed it down to about four, but I still need to get a little more information before I make my final decision. Once I pick one, I can go ahead and fill out the application. I have to be approved before we ever start talking money or signing contracts. Ultimately, I have to decide if I am going to pay a little more for the full service of an agency or pay a little less for a facilitator. If I choose a facilitator I will pretty much have to do most everything by myself and that is a scary thought since it will be my first time.
Money, money, money..that's what it all boils down to. I feel like I've got to get some of our monthly debt paid off so that we have more to put towards a loan payment after the house and so it will raise the hubby's credit and we will be eligible for more on the adoption loan. It feels like a completely pointless task, but I 'm trying. I just filled out a form tonight to try to get my student loans cancelled since my college lost its accreditation. Hopefully that goes as planned and I won't have to worry about student loan payments anymore. We cut out television completely and we really don't have any other luxury expenses. Everything else we have to pay are things we have no choice about. The first thing on my list is to tackle the credit card debt. It's not much, but we will need those credit cards for the adoption and paying them back off will up hubby's credit score some. I really need to get some fundraising money or donations coming in so that we can pay the first part of the payment to whichever agency we decide to go with. I am relying heavily on my friends and family to help me get the word out to others and to help with the fundraisers. I hope they are up to the task.
Well, I really just wanted to give everyone a brief update as to what has been going on. If anyone wants to help out by donating money, you can get in touch with me or go to the donation page. If you would like to donate items for a yard sale or to take chances on, then get in touch with me directly or a family member. I ask that you please share my fundraiser page, blog and/or Facebook page with the people you know via Facebook, Twitter or any other means you choose. Thank you everyone that has shown their support, you will never know how much it means to us. Love and baby dust!!
http://www.gofundme.com/CallieTorreyAdoptionFund
December 13, 2012
Adoption It Is
I have finally made a decision. I am throwing myself into adoption full force. It wasn't an easy decision to make, giving up on my dream to have a child of my own and give birth to it, but I finally did it. In all honesty, I didn't have much of a choice. The constant disappointment and failed attempts at getting pregnant couldn't go on forever, or I would have gone crazy. I think I have tortured myself enough. It's time to move on. However, I now have the huge task of somehow coming up with the roughly $20,000 it will take to adopt a baby. For some reason, that doesn't sound nearly as hard to me as getting pregnant myself. I have always been creative and determined. I WILL find a way.
I have given some thought to new ways to make some extra money and came up with a few ideas I will try. I don't know if any of them will generate enough profit to be worth it, but it's worth a shot. In the next few weeks, I will be ordering supplies to make bath bombs, tarts, candles, primitives and various other things. I am going to put together some gift baskets and take chances on them. I am going to make some baked goods to wrap and sell. Then there is the webpage. I have set up a page on the site gofundme.com so that anyone can go and donate to help us raise the money. If I have to make signs and sit on a corner somewhere begging for money, I will do it. This is something that I have to make happen. If I give up on having kids in my life, I might as well lay down and die. It's that important to me. If any of you have an idea on raising money, please let me know.
There are grants and adoption loans you can get to help you with paying for the adoption, but there is a catch. The grants have very strict guidelines on who qualifies and they only give so many per year. Plus, they are non-profit organizations that run off of donations. They are limited to what funds they have to give. A lot of the grants also require that you are already in the adoption process and have already paid most of the costs. The loans also have strict guidelines and you usually have to have extremely good credit to qualify. You also run the risk of not getting approved for the full amount you need. For the most part, you need to be able to provide most of the money for adoption yourself. Most people that adopt have wealthy friends and family that gift the money to them. I don't have that luxury, so I will need to find other options. I will apply for the grants, but I'm not going to depend on getting them.
Now, I have been researching different adoption agencies. Of course, there really aren't but a few that are licensed in West Virginia. This means I will probably have to use a facilitator instead of an agency. The facilitator will match me with a birth mother, but all the leg work and legal aspects are left up to me. I am totally clueless on anything like that, so finding a good adoption attorney that knows their stuff around here is going to be very important. I will also be responsible for finding an attorney to handle the birth mother's end of things in whatever state she lives in. It is going to be a stressful and hard process, but I think I will be able to manage it. The hardest part will be the money. I have found a couple of facilitators that look like they are what we need and have applications for them. However, I would like to have all of the cash to pay their fee and a little extra already saved up before I actually pick one and apply.
So, that is where I am at this point. My friends and family, I am asking for your help. If you can donate any amount at all, it would be greatly appreciated. Any fundraising ideas you may have would be greatly appreciated as well. Please spread the word, anyone can help. Go to my fundraising webpage and share to your Facebook and Twitter pages. As always, thank you for your support.
http://www.gofundme.com/CallieTorreyAdoptionFund
I have given some thought to new ways to make some extra money and came up with a few ideas I will try. I don't know if any of them will generate enough profit to be worth it, but it's worth a shot. In the next few weeks, I will be ordering supplies to make bath bombs, tarts, candles, primitives and various other things. I am going to put together some gift baskets and take chances on them. I am going to make some baked goods to wrap and sell. Then there is the webpage. I have set up a page on the site gofundme.com so that anyone can go and donate to help us raise the money. If I have to make signs and sit on a corner somewhere begging for money, I will do it. This is something that I have to make happen. If I give up on having kids in my life, I might as well lay down and die. It's that important to me. If any of you have an idea on raising money, please let me know.
There are grants and adoption loans you can get to help you with paying for the adoption, but there is a catch. The grants have very strict guidelines on who qualifies and they only give so many per year. Plus, they are non-profit organizations that run off of donations. They are limited to what funds they have to give. A lot of the grants also require that you are already in the adoption process and have already paid most of the costs. The loans also have strict guidelines and you usually have to have extremely good credit to qualify. You also run the risk of not getting approved for the full amount you need. For the most part, you need to be able to provide most of the money for adoption yourself. Most people that adopt have wealthy friends and family that gift the money to them. I don't have that luxury, so I will need to find other options. I will apply for the grants, but I'm not going to depend on getting them.
Now, I have been researching different adoption agencies. Of course, there really aren't but a few that are licensed in West Virginia. This means I will probably have to use a facilitator instead of an agency. The facilitator will match me with a birth mother, but all the leg work and legal aspects are left up to me. I am totally clueless on anything like that, so finding a good adoption attorney that knows their stuff around here is going to be very important. I will also be responsible for finding an attorney to handle the birth mother's end of things in whatever state she lives in. It is going to be a stressful and hard process, but I think I will be able to manage it. The hardest part will be the money. I have found a couple of facilitators that look like they are what we need and have applications for them. However, I would like to have all of the cash to pay their fee and a little extra already saved up before I actually pick one and apply.
So, that is where I am at this point. My friends and family, I am asking for your help. If you can donate any amount at all, it would be greatly appreciated. Any fundraising ideas you may have would be greatly appreciated as well. Please spread the word, anyone can help. Go to my fundraising webpage and share to your Facebook and Twitter pages. As always, thank you for your support.
http://www.gofundme.com/CallieTorreyAdoptionFund
December 9, 2012
I'm Back
Well guys, I've been away from the blog and the page for a little while now. We lost power for a little while when Sandy hit and after that I started struggling with my own situation a little bit. I'm still not entirely okay, but I would feel selfish if I stayed away from the other people that read this blog and the page any longer. I know several of you feel not so alone and feel better knowing someone else is in your situation, so I am back for you. Maybe by sharing what I have been feeling lately, I will feel better too.
When my husband got laid off from the mines and took this new job, he took a cut in pay. At this point we have enough money to pay our bills, put gas in our vehicles and buy food. We don't have any, and most pay days I do seriously mean ANY, money left over to try and pay down our debt. In a few months we will no longer have a house to stay in. We have been desperately trying to find a place to buy, but we have had absolutely no luck. People want way more than what places are worth, plus we have to have a little bit of land for my horse. So right now I am feeling so completely overwhelmed and stressed out that I have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm worried about having a place to stay. I'm worried about my animals. I'm worried about a house payment if we do find a place. I'm worried about what we will do if we don't find a house before we have to be out of this one. I have no idea how we are going to pay off the debt that we have right now. Honestly, I really just feel like laying down in my bed and giving up on everything. I don't want to see anyone. I want to talk to anyone. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I don't want to try to figure out our money situation anymore. I'm just so tired. All I want is to have a semi okay life. I can handle some stress and money problems and everything else, but every single thing in my life going wrong at the exact same time is just too much. I can't handle it. Plus, I feel like I am the only one struggling with it. My husband won't talk about it. He thinks that if you don't talk about it or think about it or worry about it, that everything will work out just fine. No effort needed, which in turn makes me feel like he doesn't care and makes me feel that much more alone.
So, I have all of this other stuff going on and then I get to throw in my infertility problems on top of all of that. I tried my supplements and gave them the three months that are needed to start seeing results, but they changed nothing. My cycles were still around 45 days long and I didn't ovulate the last month. That was the last thing that I had to try. I am officially out of options unless I go back to the fertility doctor, which I can't afford to do. The only thing that was keeping me going was thinking that we would get our debt payed off and get a house. Once we did that, we could take out a loan and try in-vitro. If the in-vitro didn't work, we would pay off that loan and get a loan to adopt a newborn. Having that plan in place was my last hope, the only thing that was keeping me from losing my mind. Now that has crashed and burned. With the money problems we are having and the trouble we are having finding a house, it would be years before we could even attempt to get that plan in motion. I am 26 years old. I know most people would put it off as I'm still young and have plenty of time, and I would slap them in the face. From a societal point of view, yes, I am still young. However, women weren't meant to have children later in life, even though that is what is socially acceptable these days. Women are at peak fertility in their 20's. After 30 your fertility starts declining and after 35 it is drastically reduced. That is for someone that has a healthy reproductive system. For someone like me, that has fertility problems already, having a baby in your 30's is pretty much not going to happen. So, yeah, I am running out of time and I can feel it slipping away. After every month and every year that goes by, I feel more and more hopeless. All I have ever wanted to is to have a family, I don't know that I can ever be okay with not having children. The one thing I have wanted the most in my life. I'm not sure what my purpose in life is anymore and I don't have the energy to keep trying to figure it out. I feel like I have finally hit bottom and it may be time for a meltdown. I don't know what else to do.
I guess I am going to go for now. Be sure to check out the Facebook page and I'm always here for questions, comments or whatever else. Goodnight everyone.
When my husband got laid off from the mines and took this new job, he took a cut in pay. At this point we have enough money to pay our bills, put gas in our vehicles and buy food. We don't have any, and most pay days I do seriously mean ANY, money left over to try and pay down our debt. In a few months we will no longer have a house to stay in. We have been desperately trying to find a place to buy, but we have had absolutely no luck. People want way more than what places are worth, plus we have to have a little bit of land for my horse. So right now I am feeling so completely overwhelmed and stressed out that I have absolutely no idea what to do. I'm worried about having a place to stay. I'm worried about my animals. I'm worried about a house payment if we do find a place. I'm worried about what we will do if we don't find a house before we have to be out of this one. I have no idea how we are going to pay off the debt that we have right now. Honestly, I really just feel like laying down in my bed and giving up on everything. I don't want to see anyone. I want to talk to anyone. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I don't want to try to figure out our money situation anymore. I'm just so tired. All I want is to have a semi okay life. I can handle some stress and money problems and everything else, but every single thing in my life going wrong at the exact same time is just too much. I can't handle it. Plus, I feel like I am the only one struggling with it. My husband won't talk about it. He thinks that if you don't talk about it or think about it or worry about it, that everything will work out just fine. No effort needed, which in turn makes me feel like he doesn't care and makes me feel that much more alone.
So, I have all of this other stuff going on and then I get to throw in my infertility problems on top of all of that. I tried my supplements and gave them the three months that are needed to start seeing results, but they changed nothing. My cycles were still around 45 days long and I didn't ovulate the last month. That was the last thing that I had to try. I am officially out of options unless I go back to the fertility doctor, which I can't afford to do. The only thing that was keeping me going was thinking that we would get our debt payed off and get a house. Once we did that, we could take out a loan and try in-vitro. If the in-vitro didn't work, we would pay off that loan and get a loan to adopt a newborn. Having that plan in place was my last hope, the only thing that was keeping me from losing my mind. Now that has crashed and burned. With the money problems we are having and the trouble we are having finding a house, it would be years before we could even attempt to get that plan in motion. I am 26 years old. I know most people would put it off as I'm still young and have plenty of time, and I would slap them in the face. From a societal point of view, yes, I am still young. However, women weren't meant to have children later in life, even though that is what is socially acceptable these days. Women are at peak fertility in their 20's. After 30 your fertility starts declining and after 35 it is drastically reduced. That is for someone that has a healthy reproductive system. For someone like me, that has fertility problems already, having a baby in your 30's is pretty much not going to happen. So, yeah, I am running out of time and I can feel it slipping away. After every month and every year that goes by, I feel more and more hopeless. All I have ever wanted to is to have a family, I don't know that I can ever be okay with not having children. The one thing I have wanted the most in my life. I'm not sure what my purpose in life is anymore and I don't have the energy to keep trying to figure it out. I feel like I have finally hit bottom and it may be time for a meltdown. I don't know what else to do.
I guess I am going to go for now. Be sure to check out the Facebook page and I'm always here for questions, comments or whatever else. Goodnight everyone.
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